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the male advantage

the male advantage
By Shivan Sivakumaran • Issue #90 • View online
do you feel rushed to succeed? don’t worry.

Kia ora e hoa,
I’ve been consuming a bit of 1STMAN content lately.
At first, I thought this guy was a misogynistic alpha male. Then, I opened my mind. I listened. It made me think about my life.
A common concept in his video is about the male advantage. What is the male advantage? It’s to do with time.
When I turned 18, I thought I had to have my life sorted immediately. There was ever-increasing pressure to get a degree, get a well-paying job, buy a house and start a family. All this before the age of 25 for bonus points!
And t0 make it worse all my friends were far ahead of the race. I did manage to get the house and girl at 27 or 28. Then, it all fell apart.
After that, it made me realise that life is a marathon.
But I treated it like a competitive sprint.
Don’t get me wrong. There is competition, but I was playing the wrong game.
Cue in the male advantage. Having your life organised before 30 isn’t a man’s timeline. It’s a timeline imposed by our society.
The 20s are a time in a man’s life to figure out their purpose. Ensure you have healthy habits, build the body you want, the career you want, and the wealth that you want. It’s the set up your life — the life set up is another concept that Kris from 1STMAN discusses.
For the majority of us, we cash in too soon. I almost did.
The fear of being alone, the fear of feeling “unaccomplished”, the fear and discomfort of challenging society’s normality. It’s too much to handle. Time to cash in: mortgage, marriage, kids.
On social media, a mortgage is success; marriage is success; kids are success. These things get virtual likes and hearts. You gain the approval of family, friends and society. It’s great if you want them. But if you have them, the ceiling of life starts to become visible. And breaking through that ceiling isn’t impossible but it becomes very difficult.
If you want to start a business, live free, go against the life script, nobody cares. In fact, people want to see you fail. There is no validation, but your own.
I didn’t realise that my best years are yet to come. Thankfully, I did now. Why attach myself to a series of anchors? I’ll look foolish now. But the best years are yet to come, while those who cashed out will decline, those who were committed will rise.
The final message is you have time. What do you think? Thumbs up or thumbs down?
Stay focused and talk soon.
Ngā mihi nui,
Shivan
Video
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Shivan Sivakumaran

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