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why aren't you confident?

why aren't you confident?
By Shivan Sivakumaran • Issue #80 • View online
Kia ora e hoa,
Nobody is born confident.
No one is born with the God-given gift of flipping the camera lens towards them, hitting record, and speaking clearly, coherently and confidently.
The opposite of confidence is fear of failure. No one is born fearless.
Fear is a useful survival mechanism to stay alive. At an edge of a cliff? Stay away from that, says the brain. What about taking the first step to controlling your life? What will others think? What if I fail? What’s an excuse I can come up with today?
Isn’t your brain funny?
Fear keeps you prisoner, and the jail is called comfort.
Freedom is when you break free from the prison of your comfort zone.
Yes, you can redirect that fear. Fear and excitement are the same physiological response. The difference is our frame of mind. Instead of suppressing the fear to begin with, don’t calm the fire, fuel it.
Fear regret. Fear mediocrity. Fear using gratitude to cope with your current situation instead of using that gratitude to skyrocket your ambitions.
What can you do to combat fear? Self-belief? Yes, that’s true. But the antidote to fear is action.
When you take that leap (not off that cliff) and continue to take action, you finally pick your struggle.
You are now fighting a battle you want to win.
You’re alive. Free.
Nobody was born with the ability to comfortably bare their soul on camera for the entire world of strangers to watch and scrutinise. Nobody was born with the ability to feel okay with no growth or success. Getting up again after setbacks is what you have to experience.
What’s your fear? What’s your action?
Do the reps, stay focused and talk soon.
Ngā mihi nui,

  1. Course The Science of Wellbeing This course was designed by Yale professor Laurie Santos and is entirely free. It’s a 10-week course centred around what makes us happy. At the moment, I’m just beginning, but here is a quick preview. Much of what we think makes us happy doesn’t make us happy. Think about that car you want. You may be satisfied when you get the car, but this dies down after a while. Likewise, what we think makes us happy doesn’t make us happy.
  2. Podcast How to Not Die Alone - A Dating Expert’s Guide I mentioned this book before. But still, I’m hooked. Ali Abdaal and the book’s author, Logan Ury, sit down and discuss relationships from dating to surviving marriage. I thoroughly enjoyed the book and put a lot into practice (I hope). The podcast makes an excellent intro to the text, so I recommend listening if you have or haven’t read the book.
  3. Article How to do what you love and make good money This article was sent by a friend, and it outlines being a creator and wanting to earn money from your creations. Derek Sivers provides a good solution. First, find a job that pays well, and then pursue your art on the side.
In this video, I run through a typical day in a life of an optometrist (my day job!). This video is for those who aren’t optometrists and are curious about the job. Also, if you’re in the eyecare field and interested in how my day is structured, this can be useful to you as well. Enjoy!
Day in a Life of an Optometrist
Day in a Life of an Optometrist
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Shivan Sivakumaran

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